I want to spend 2016 righting my wrongs. If I plan to leave the country at the end of the year or soon after the first of year, I can’t leave behind a bunch of negativity and things I’d wish I had said. I’m not a terrible person, at least to my own standards, but like everyone else, I’ve definitely made my fair share of mistakes. Some were worse than others. Some were brushed under the rug and some still follow me around like a shadow from time to time. The most I can do with these mistakes though, is learn from them and move on.
I couldn’t really even begin to tell you what happened to us. I just feel like everything was so good, and then all of the sudden it got so bad. We did start drifting further and further apart and that should have been the first sign. And whether we noticed it or not, the most upsetting thing is that neither of us did anything about it, and that ultimately is what may have been the beginning of the end. A lesson I learned from our situation is if you want to keep a relationship/friendship prevalent, you’re going to need to fight for it. If that fight happens to be one sided, you have to decide if it’s worth pulling all of the weight. And I would have pulled all of the weight for you if I knew this is where we would end up.
The worst part about all of this is that the whole time I’ve known you, I never would have thought you would become someone I used to know. I don’t know anything about who you are, where you want to go in life, what gets you really excited anymore, when I used to know you like the back of my hand. I’ve called a few people in my life a best friend or a best friend forever or a bff, but there’s only a few that I actually thought would reign true. And you were one of them. My best memories are with you and they are some that I will cherish forever. We had some nights where we got into a lot of trouble, moments where I laughed until I had a six pack, and some pretty deep conversations were shared between the two of us. I hope that you look back and your memories are just as good.
The most important thing I want you to know is that I’m sorry for all of the times I was a crappy friend. I made some mistakes throughout our friendship and the lessons I’ve learned from them are some of the most important. I regret taking you for granted, and keeping things from you, and not thinking or speaking highly of people you held close to your heart. I apologize for putting you in unfortunate situations and overreacting to some things that I could have just left alone.
We both made mistakes and we both could have tried harder. No one is perfect and our friendship definitely wasn’t. For whatever reason, it faded and maybe that’s what was meant to happen. Hopefully I’ll run into you somewhere in the future and we’ll go get drinks and we’ll be brought back to that treasured friendship. Who knows where life is going to take us, but maybe it will be back together.