I’ll admit that one of the only reasons I liked going to school during the day and working in the evening was due to the fact that if I was having a rough morning and I couldn’t find it in me to get out of bed… I didn’t. I’d email my professor some excuse as to why I wouldn’t be in class and go back to bed for a few hours. And sometimes I didn’t even bother with the email. I’ll also admit that the person I was two years ago was the person that would call in sick or get my shift covered last minute just because I didn’t want to deal with work. Let’s keep in mind that both of my first jobs had more than enough staff scheduled throughout the day to go one with out me, but still how irresponsible and selfish is that? I’d like us all to also keep in mind that in the little over a year that I’ve been at my current job, I haven’t called in sick once.
I learned a new sense of responsiblity at this job, a sense that people were actually counting on me. One, because we aren’t always over staffed. Sometimes we only even have just the bare minimum. Two, I started working in the mornings and even got a key to open the place up. Everyone was waiting on me to get my butt out of bed and let them in to get their day started. I couldn’t send out an email to my boss letting her know that I just wasn’t feeling it and I’d catch up on any missed work before my next shift. I got out of bed everyday and went to work.
Just because I didn’t call in sick doesnt mean I didn’t want to. There would be days when I was so frustrated that I had to go to work that I’d cry. I have them on occasion even now. But I’ve learned to see the positives. I’m so fortunate to have this job and to have met and become so close with the people that I have. I’m so lucky to have something to get out of bed for every morning.
And this morning at 6:15 am when my first of four alarms was going off (ya know, just in case) all I wanted to do was shoot my boss an email that I’d see her at my next shift, and go back to sleep. But as familiar as that feeling was, I felt something else also. I felt driven to get up and have a good day, despite what my mind was telling me to do. Anyone can give in to the darkness, the security of their own bedroom, and the warmth of the sheets, but I’m not going to do it anymore.
The only thing stopping me from having a positive experience with this life is myself.
I’m deciding to wake up with enough time to get ready so that I’m not stressed about getting anywhere on time. I’m going to eat breakfast and pack a lunch daily. I’m going to put myself to work at work and prove to myself and to others that I made the right choice. That I am an asset. I’m going to push myself foward in school so that I can find my passion and start on the steps to my career. I’m going to take opportunites, be kind, and save my money.
It’s so so easy to let something negative set the tone for the rest of the day. But is that any way to go through life? Giving into the negativity that surrounds us day by day? That doesn’t sound like a life I would be proud of and at the end of it all, that’s all I really want. To say I lived a positive life to the best of my ability. And I understand that bad things happen to people that don’t deserve it and there are circumstances where you absolutely cannot bounce back. And that is okay. To those people i say; take your time. cry a little. seek comfort in your friends and family. and come back stronger. The only person who decides if you see the light at the end of your tunnel is you. and that is a choice that you should actively be making.
I know there are going to be more days where I feel like staying in bed is my best option. And when those days arise, I’m going to do my best to get out of bed (even if it means rolling), put on my big girl panties, drink a cup of black coffee, and handle it.